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Tie me, tease me, please me!
Ready to indulge those naughty fantasies of tying up and teasing your partner until they can take no more?
Imagine tickling, spanking and whipping their restrained body as a blindfold heightens their other senses. Perhaps you’d rather be on the receiving end?
Bondage involves restraining a consenting partner for mutual sexual pleasure. It’s the ‘B’ in BDSM: Bondage/Disciple Dominance/Submission Sadism/Masochism. But don’t let terminology overwhelm you.
For now, just consider bondage as kinky fun, as a way of pushing boundaries to learn more about yourself and your lover while enhancing sexual pleasure and intimacy.
Are you dominant or submissive?
When you’re playing bondage games, the restrained partner surrenders control to the dominant one, so don’t try it with a near-stranger (sorry, Tinder dates) and establish a safety word before you begin. Saying that word mid-play means things will immediately stop.
When starting out, don’t feel pressured to label yourself as the submissive or dominant partner. Why not have a go at both positions?
You might even enjoy being a ‘switch’ – someone who swaps between ‘dom’ and ‘sub’ depending on their mood and partner.
When playtime begins, keep it simple. Too much bondage gear can be intimidating and overcomplicate the scenario – save that for when you’re more experienced. In the meantime, take small (kinky) steps!
Beginner bondage
One of the easiest ways to engage in light bondage play is with a blindfold.
Restricting sight creates a sense of erotic anticipation while heightening other senses as you or your partner guess what’s happening next.
You could then use the blindfold with hand or ankle cuffs – furry, metal, leather or rope – to create a sense of erotic helplessness as you tickle and tease.
Try tickling, spanking and whipping, which represent increasing levels of bondage play that test the line between pleasure and pain.
Or, make your partner giggle and squirm with ticklers made from feathers, delicate strands of chain, or prickly pinwheels.
Ready to up the ante?
Use a paddle or crop to spank a bare bottom. They can have a flat or textured surface for different sensations, and some are multi-purpose with insertable dildo handles!
Whips and floggers increase the intensity of spanking thanks to tails that deliver a sharper sensation with more bite and sting.
You could also turn attention to the nipples, which are sensitive areas for many men and women. Stimulating the nipples with suction, pinching, squeezing or vibration can make them super-sensitive in a way that is both pleasurable and painful.
Nipple stimulators, such as suckers and vibrators are good beginner's options while clips, clamps and weighted varieties deliver more intense sensations.
Advanced bondage
Once you’re comfortable in bondage scenarios, you and your partner may want to progress your playtime.
We’re not necessarily talking about increasing the element of risk, but rather, incorporating different types or combinations of bondage toys to bring even more fantasies to reality.
For example, once you’ve mastered play with hand or ankle cuffs, you might want to further limit bodily movement with hogties holding your wrists and ankles together or a full-body restraint.
You can also restrict speech and orgasmic moans with a firm silicone gag in your mouth!
For couples who are really adventurous, why not discover exciting new positions with sex swings and slings? Experience a rush of adrenalin as you swing from the ceiling, door or a freestanding frame.
Or, stay grounded, using a sex sling to give your flexibility a boost to achieve positions you never thought possible.
Slings are usually made of soft fabrics and are placed around various body parts to stretch, spread or hold you in certain positions, allowing for varying levels of movement depending on the design.
The world of bondage play is limited only by your and your partner’s imaginations. Whichever toys and activities you agree to, make sure you set clear boundaries first and debrief afterwards so both of you feel safe, comfortable and ultimately, closer than ever.
