Morgan Penn’s 30 Day Sextember Challenge (2026)

September is usually the month of fresh starts. Spring is arriving, the days are getting longer, and suddenly everyone is talking about decluttering their homes, getting outside and becoming the best version of themselves. But what if, this year, you applied that energy to your sex life?

The Sextember Challenge is your invitation to spend 30 days getting curious about pleasure, intimacy, desire and your own body. No pressure to have more sex. No gold stars for having the wildest night. And absolutely no requirement to suddenly become a tantric sex goddess by September 30. Instead, it’s about making space for something that can very easily disappear beneath work, relationships, children, stress, routine and the general chaos of life. One of the biggest things that becomes evident in my clients sex lives is a lack of prioritisation. So this is your invitation to prioritise your sexual wellbeing.

What exactly is Sextember?

Sextember is a 30-day sexual wellness challenge designed to help you reconnect with pleasure and shake up your sexual routine.

Every day, there is a new challenge, invitation or idea to try. Some will be playful. Some will be sensual. Some might involve a partner. Others are completely solo. You might try something you’ve always been curious about, explore a new kind of touch, introduce a sex toy, have a conversation you’ve been avoiding, or simply spend some time noticing what actually feels good to you. The point isn’t to tick every box. The point is to get curious. When it comes to sex, curiosity is seriously underrated.

Sextember isn’t about having MORE sex

This is important. Sextember isn’t a challenge to have sex every day. But by all means don’t let me stop you! Sexual wellness isn’t measured by how often you’re having sex.

It’s about your relationship with your sexuality. Do you feel connected to your body? Do you know what you enjoy? Can you communicate what you want? Can you say no when you don’t want something? Can you stay curious about pleasure? Can you experience sexuality without it becoming another performance? Those questions are far more interesting than counting how many times you’ve had sex this month.

Long-term relationships can be particularly vulnerable to sexual autopilot. You know each other’s bodies. You know the usual sequence. You know what tends to happen next. But predictability can sometimes make desire a little sleepy. Trying something new doesn’t have to mean swinging from the chandelier.

And if you’re single? Sextember is for you too.

Your sexual wellness doesn’t depend on having a partner. In fact, Sextember can be a brilliant opportunity to put yourself back at the centre of your sexual experience. Explore your body. Notice what turns you on. Try something new. Buy the toy you’ve been eyeing up. Give yourself permission to take your time. Get curious about fantasy. Learn what kinds of touch you enjoy.

You don’t have to do Sextember perfectly

There will probably be challenges you love. There will probably be challenges you absolutely do not. There may be days when you’re exhausted, busy, hormonal, distracted or simply not in the mood. That’s okay. Skip something. Adapt it. Try again tomorrow. There are no sexual wellness police waiting outside your bedroom with a clipboard. The challenge is an invitation, not an obligation.

This September, we’re putting pleasure back on the calendar. One day. One challenge. One curious experiment at a time.

Welcome to Sextember.

September 1 – No Rush

Slow it down and take sex off the table. Spend 20 minutes kissing, touching and exploring without trying to get anywhere. After the 20 minutes has passed you can stop there, or decide to do something else.

September 2 – Yes, Please

Each person names three things they would genuinely love more of in bed. No guessing allowed. Doing this solo counts.

September 3 – Blindfold

Take turns being blindfolded and explore touch, sound, temperature and anticipation.

September 4 – Take Turns

This is a partnered challenge. One person gets to receive attention for 15 minutes, then swap. The receiver doesn’t have to perform or reciprocate.

September 5 – Anywhere but the Bedroom

Find somewhere else in the house for intimacy. The novelty is the point.

September 6 – Fantasy Download

Share one fantasy you’ve never actually told anyone. You’re sharing, not necessarily committing to doing it.

September 7 – Audio Erotica

Listen to erotic audio and notice what turns you on. 

September 8 – Compliment

Give your partner five specific compliments about their body, energy, sexuality or the way they make you feel. If you don’t have a partner, you get to compliment yourself!

September 9 – Slow Strip

Get undressed for each other without rushing. The challenge is staying with the anticipation rather than jumping straight to sex.

September 10 – Make Out

Make out for 10 minutes with absolutely no obligation for it to become anything else. Phones away. Hands can wander, expectations can’t.

Read more: How to be a great kisser by Foxy B. Bold.

September 11 – Switch It Up

Change one familiar part of your usual sexual routine. Different room, different time, different position, different initiation, different pace.

September 12 – Shop For A New Toy Together

We know you all love a new toy, but the shopping process is just as fun! Browsing together can spark conversations about your desires and fantasies. Plus, it builds anticipation for when you try it. While you’re at it, check ahead for anything else you’ll need this Sextember, like a massage candle, flavoured lube, and maybe some cuffs or light bondage gear.

September 13 – Sensation Menu

Choose three sensations to experiment with: soft, firm, warm, cool, feather light, pressure, texture. Explore without trying to make anything happen.

Read more: Sensory  play for deeper connection by Laura Lee.

September 14 – Bedroom Interview

Ask each other questions about your sex lives, maybe:  “What’s something you wish I did more often?” “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?” “When do you feel most desired by me?” 

Sextember hot tip: this is an interview about the bedroom. And it’s best to not do it in the bedroom.

September 15 – Eating In

All food consumed in this session is to be eaten off the body.

Sextember hot tip: make sure you put a towel down or do it in the kitchen…

September 16 – Witnessing

Pleasure yourself solo while your partner watches. This is about confidence and vulnerability. They learn what turns you on, and you get the thrill of being witnessed.

If you’re goin solo pleasure yourself while watching yourself in the mirror.

Read more: Rediscovering my erogenous zones by Kate Manning.

September 17 – A Boost for your Bedroom

Change your space: new sheets, candles, music, or even rearrange furniture. A fresh setting can reset your erotic energy and inspire new dynamics.

September 18 – Shower Sex

Explore positions that water supports — standing from behind, lifted, or seated on the edge. Add lube if needed, silicone for choice as it doesn’t wash away as easily. Don’t forget non-penetrative shower play like slippery rubbing is just as good.

Read more: Best toys for shower sex by Amy Edith.

September 19 – Flavoured Lube

Flavoured lubes make oral sex more playful. Experiment with strawberry, mint or even salted caramel it adds novelty while reducing any self-consciousness about taste. Bonus: combine with licking, kissing, or body drizzles.

September 20 – Twice as Nice

Go for round two after having a sexy time and don’t leave it where you normally would. The challenge is endurance and letting yourself go again. Maybe add in morning sex. Or a “quickie”. Keep it fun, spontaneous, and without expectation. And remember toys can help if you need an extra boost or one of you needs a breather.

September 21 – Massage Candle

Light a massage candle that melts into warm, body-safe oil. Drizzle onto skin and use long, sensual strokes. It’s indulgent and deeply connective.

September 22 – Photoshoot

Celebrate the last week of Sextember with a sexy photo shoot. Dress up, strip down, and pose. This builds confidence and creates hot memories. And art for your walls if you dare.

September 23 – Blow Hot and Cold

Play with temperature on the body. Alternate between warm breath, ice cubes, or a hot drink sip followed by a kiss. This contrast awakens the senses and builds delicious anticipation. You can also try glass or metal sex toys, cooling, tingling lube, or even temperature toys like the We-Vibe Temp.

September 24 – Send a Flirty or Dirty

Snap a flirty pic! Think lingerie, a bare shoulder, or something implied to tantalise your lover while they are away from you.

If that’s too much, try a dirty text, something as simple as “Careful… if you keep popping into my head like this, I might have to start misbehaving”. Consent and trust are key here.

September 25 – New Toy

Try a sex toy you’ve never used before, or revisit one that’s been sitting in the drawer gathering dust. If you shopped for new toys two weeks ago, this is your time to take them for a spin!

September 26 – BDSM Play

Dip your toes into BDSM. Start light: blindfolds, handcuffs, a paddle, or a silk tie or scarf. Explore power dynamics safely with a safeword. Remember, this isn’t about pain, it’s about sensation and surrender.

Read more: Bondage 101: Restraints, Cuffs, and Safety by David Hollingworth.

September 27 – Panty Party

Play with underwear and lingerie. Wear them, swap them, cut them off, or keep them on during sex. Sometimes what stays on is hotter than what comes off.

September 28 – Let it be Messy

Abandon neatness. Roll around, sweat, laugh, moan — be primal, and raw. Sometimes the hottest sex is the least “put together.” Put down some towels or a Splash Blanket if you need the peace of mind to let yourself go.

September 29 – Go Somewhere New

The bedroom’s off-limits today. Go for the couch, kitchen, laundry, car, or backyard. Out of the house is highly recommended. A change of scene reignites excitement – and gets you out of doing the same thing over and over.

Read more: Can you bring sex toys to Bali by Matthew Lang.

September 30 – To The Edge

Don’t want things to end? Draw it out. Edge yourself – or your partner. See how many times you can get you – or them – to the brink of orgasm before they tip over.

Read more: How edging helps premature ejaculation by Amy Edith.

Want more Sextember?

Check out the Wild Secrets’ Sextember offers for everything you’ll need this month and beyond. And make sure you’re following MorganTheSexologist on Instagram for more Sextember tips and check ins over the month.